Love, the eternal promise of togetherness. Or should I say, Love was the eternal promise of togetherness. I’ve always dreamt of the kind of love that would last beyond me and him. When I cease to exist our love would continue to live on through our memories and our children and our sweet shared innocence. But that reverie grows increasingly elusive day after day.
I have been dating roughly since the age of 13, and now after more than 10 years of in-numerous relationships I fret to say that I may have experienced all forms of love. I started from believing there was just one form of love, to understanding that the closest I will get to having a soul mate is my best friend and finally onto accepting that the universe always seems to have a plan of its own. So being a hopeless romantic, I loved tirelessly from one boy to another almost forming an unbreakable string, which I could only liken to a butterfly going from one flower to another in the search of sweet nectar. But each relationship turned out to be a different form of love and a different form of disappointment. All of them started with the promise of free spirited love and culminated into a desire, driven by deep seated insecurities, of owning the person.
Why can’t love be a choice? Of choosing one another each day, or not. It’s the alternative of “or not” that seems to scare most people resulting in a need to posses the other person. But where is love in all this? Shouldn’t love emerge from a strong admiration, an immense respect, a complete awe of that individual’s personality? And if you feel all of those things then why would you want to limit that person by projecting your own insecurities onto them?
Well this is only one part of the problem, the second part of the problem is the options! With travel and communication not being a barrier we are faced with the problem of an excessive number of options. Picture yourself in a supermarket buying a jar of jam. Imagine there are 100 different types of jams to choose from, what do you do? Most often than not you would get overwhelmed and decide to think about it and make the choice later or make a choice clouded by unsurety.
This is the situation for love in today’s world. We have so many options to choose from and so many ways to reach those options that how do we really choose? And hence comes the dreaded question, have we evolved past love? I ask myself this question a lot and I feel this almost panic grapple my soul. What if we have evolved past love? What if I have evolved past love?
Rationalising everything does not leave much room for romance and knowing the exact motive behind a lover’s actions takes away his prerogative of controlling a situation. But that is a direct result of having experienced way too much, too soon coupled with the curse of being perceptive, of letting your emotional intelligence grow. But how can I stop this? How can any of us unknow what we already know? All those experiences, all those different types of love, can we ever really forget them?
Well, for my sanity I’m still hoping for the eternal sunshine of my very spotted mind.
Dwell further on this topic by reading a debate on the existence and necessity of Monogamy. Do we need be paired in happy couples of two?
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