A love story

I saw him, I loved him.

We shared our beds and the hopes and dreams that transpired.

Then I left. I had to.

I thought of him ever so often, a heart ache that was all too familiar.

We spoke. But we were not the same.

Seemed like it had been a lifetime since our time together, and maybe it was another life. A happier life.

And now I’m back. But where is he?

He is with her. Is he happy?

It breaks my heart to realize what I wanted with him, he has with her.

What I introduced in his life, he is experiencing with her.

How cruel can heartbreak be? How oblivious can the heartbreaker be?

Now, every morning between being asleep and partially awake, during each of my reveries, I think of him. But more often I think of her.

Did she steal what was mine?

I hope to regain what I have lost, a part of me, some way and some day.

Or maybe this is the only love story I will ever write; it began when our eyes locked, ended when we blinked.

Our Life, Its a Shared Consciousness

Below is a direct excerpt from the discussions of Albert Einstein and Rabindranath Tagore:

It is not difficult to imagine a mind to which the sequence of things happens not in space but only in time like the sequence of notes in music. For such a mind such conception of reality is akin to the musical reality in which Pythagorean geometry can have no meaning. There is the reality of paper, infinitely different from the reality of literature. For the kind of mind possessed by the moth which eats that paper literature is absolutely non-existent, yet for Man’s mind literature has a greater value of Truth than the paper itself. In a similar manner if there be some Truth which has no sensuous or rational relation to the human mind, it will ever remain as nothing so long as we remain human beings.

What the above passage tries to implicate is the idea of a subjective reality. Our reality, the way we perceive it, will be far different from what it might be for any other living thing. This is solely because of the meaning and importance we attach to our surroundings. Devoid of the meaning, our perceptions would be far different from the current ones. The example given here is of literature. Human beings comprehend mere words written on paper basis their inferred meaning. This transforms simple words into coherent sentences that have the power to irk emotion, tell a story and create picturesque imaginations. But to a moth, do the same words mean any of this? The moth only considers the paper on which the words are written and that is the extent of the value the paper would ever provide to it.

This makes you reflect on the things that we attach importance to and which in turn so direly affect our reality. And then to wonder if those things are worth the importance and meaning we give to them? We and the world around us run after money but what is money but mere paper to the moth? Its our collective perception towards objects that allows them the power to dictate and transform our reality.

On the topic of collective perception, a large part of our reality is dictated by the collective perception of society. We value, accept and cherish what the collective perception of society makes us. Hence if a change has to be made to anything it can be very well started by an individual but it must be supported by a collective perception of the society otherwise we will forever value the things that the majority makes us value. This will continue for the eternity of it and keep us from knowing any greater truth, at least in our lifetime.

So what can you do? Well, a recent quote resonated a lot with me:

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” – Carl Jung

We’ve been encouraged and taught to dream. But maybe that is just a form of escapism that does more harm than it does good. Maybe focusing on ourselves and on starting a chain reaction of an awakening amongst our fellow beings would lead the world to greater good.

This, as opposed to selfish, vain dreaming because who goes to sleep at night dreaming of a more peaceful world? We are all so plagued by our inherent selfishness that it limits us in our very own reality, everyday.

So here’s to dreaming a little less everyday and reflecting inward a little more.

Read more on When Einstein Met Tagore: A Remarkable Meeting of Minds on the Edge of Science and Spirituality via Brainpickings.

The Hopeless Achiever

“Try and try until you succeed”

This age old proverb drives the young blooded to the old blooded and everyone in between. However its not the idealism expressed by the proverb that drives most people, its the success. So how would you define success? Success is defined as the achievement of an aim or an objective. But are not our aims and objectives so fleeting?

Most people that we might come across are in a perpetual beta mode, changing their hopes and dreams to suit the best of their ability. Their ability, which has been decreasing with every passing year as they get evermore complacent and driven by convenience. So if the goals that drive our success are dictated by convenience then how are we “trying till we succeed?” Well, we are not. What we are doing however is trying not to try too hard.

The phenomena of “trying too hard” is recent but colloquially a lot more popular than it’s idealistic predecessor. Most people are trying not to try too hard or at least appear as such. In today’s world, there is a stigma attached with being an overachiever and the stigma stems from the fear of failure and success of those that rely on chance and some good fortune.

But such people have it easy, I’d assume. Would it not be great to be so aware of your limits that you cause no harm to your inherent self by trying to overachieve? When your ego remains unscathed by the momentary but ever so crippling feeling of rejection.

The idealists however, for them a world where the ego takes precedence over aspiration is rather glim and leaves much to be desired.

However with this attitude, the Idealists can wind up with a string of regrets. Resulting from no faults of their own but as a function of external factors playing mayhem in their aspirations. External factors, they elude me the most. They are not mine to control and not mine to dictate. They have a mind of their own and this mind till date remains to be one that I cannot read.

I would assume, a life where you don’t try to achieve at all would be a lot easier to live with as opposed to a life where you reach for the stars only to realise that you perpetually have a broken hand. How long till my broken hand becomes the extent of my ability? How long till my hopes and dreams become as fleeting as the next biggest internet phenomena?

I feel my resolute to be strong but slightly shaken, tipping over an inch at a time to the want of “not trying too hard”

And if not, then I remain for the rest of my life, a hopeless achiever.

Image courtesy : http://bit.ly/1DWQftX

Have we evolved past love?

Love, the eternal promise of togetherness. Or should I say, Love was the eternal promise of togetherness. I’ve always dreamt of the kind of love that would last beyond me and him. When I cease to exist our love would continue to live on through our memories and our children and our sweet shared innocence. But that reverie grows increasingly elusive day after day.

I have been dating roughly since the age of 13, and now after more than 10 years of in-numerous relationships I fret to say that I may have experienced all forms of love. I started from believing there was just one form of love, to understanding that the closest I will get to having a soul mate is my best friend and finally onto accepting that the universe always seems to have a plan of its own. So being a hopeless romantic, I loved tirelessly from one boy to another almost forming an unbreakable string, which I could only liken to a butterfly going from one flower to another in the search of sweet nectar. But each relationship turned out to be a different form of love and a different form of disappointment. All of them started with the promise of free spirited love and culminated into a desire, driven by deep seated insecurities, of owning the person.

Why can’t love be a choice? Of choosing one another each day, or not. It’s the alternative of “or not” that seems to scare most people resulting in a need to posses the other person. But where is love in all this? Shouldn’t love emerge from a strong admiration, an immense respect, a complete awe of that individual’s personality? And if you feel all of those things then why would you want to limit that person by projecting your own insecurities onto them?

Well this is only one part of the problem, the second part of the problem is the options! With travel and communication not being a barrier we are faced with the problem of an excessive number of options. Picture yourself in a supermarket buying a jar of jam. Imagine there are 100 different types of jams to choose from, what do you do? Most often than not you would get overwhelmed and decide to think about it and make the choice later or make a choice clouded by unsurety.

This is the situation for love in today’s world. We have so many options to choose from and so many ways to reach those options that how do we really choose? And hence comes the dreaded question, have we evolved past love?  I ask myself this question a lot and I feel this almost panic grapple my soul. What if we have evolved past love? What if I have evolved past love?

Rationalising everything does not leave much room for romance and knowing the exact motive behind a lover’s actions takes away his prerogative of controlling a situation. But that is a direct result of having experienced way too much, too soon coupled with the curse of being perceptive, of letting your emotional intelligence grow. But how can I stop this? How can any of us unknow what we already know? All those experiences, all those different types of love, can we ever really forget them?

Well, for my sanity I’m still hoping for the eternal sunshine of my very spotted mind.

Dwell further on this topic by reading a debate on the existence and necessity of Monogamy. Do we need be paired in happy couples of two?

Image courtesy: http://bit.ly/1Gsx6u6

The Proof of Evolution

What is the proof of evolution? Is it just how our physical bodies have evolved, which is similar to any other animal or living being, or is it also how our conscience that has grown so beautifully over time?

I feel not enough number of people spend time dwelling in introspection and really knowing themselves. Whilst we are taught about the whole world, we aren’t taught enough about ourselves.

This differentiates great men from mediocre men. If you find yourself bucketed into a certain type of personality then that is your proof of not being evolved. It’s primitive to be too aggressive, too polite, too shy and any other extreme emotion. One should be able to find a balance and be a mirror to the other person. But the key to mirroring another person is not letting their characteristics override your own but to show them who they really are through yourself. This is truly an art and one very few have mastered. The caveat however to learning this art is truly being one with yourself because it is only when we are devoid of insecurities that we can start to be someone who’s evolved past others.

So how do you do this? Or more importantly why would you do this? The human mind and its potential is so vast that it seems a pity to restrict it to being just one person when you can be so many. The challenge however is in the transition, the seamless transition between all those reflections that you have mirrored as well as your own unique renditions of a personality basis your personal experiences. Maybe its only with the combination of these reflections and renditions that we can become one whole person, the most perfect and unique version of our own selves.

To only think about the kind of world humans would then exist in, where there would be no extremism but just shades. Millions and millions of shades of personalities having formed from absorbing various cultures and mind-sets and continuing to form various more. That would be a state of Utopia, well at least for me anyway.

It troubles me to see such limited personalities, highly intelligent people with the least amount of emotional intelligence. When someone says to me “I don’t know why..” it makes my skin crawl. How can a person not know why? Because in fact we all do know why but its deep-seated under denial and excuses and insecurities.

I don’t know if I’ve mastered this art but i am aware of it and that for me is a step in the right direction.

In conclusion, I think

The human mind has evolved far more than the human body and its only by truly knowing one’s self can we tap into its infinite potential. 

Image courtesy: http://bit.ly/1DWQftX

Passion and Your True Calling

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” – Franz Kafka

Growing up, we are passionate about more things than we can probably count on our fingers. But what happens when that childlike belief of conquering the world wears off and we realize the true enormity of the world we live in?
Each one of us has that distinct moment wherein, for the very first time, we are faced with a true existential crisis. The moment we realize being a cosmetic surgeon or the CEO of an MNC is much more than just talking the talk. The worst is when you realize that you have spent too much time “day dreaming” and not enough trying to actively achieve that day dream. This is when your day dream turns into a full-fledged daymare and you’re launched into a tizzy of thoughts that are so alien to your prior happy being that you’re convinced of your insanity.
Being a 20 something I have gone through all of the above and worse. I know that there is a large percentage of people out there who have it all figured out and probably never have to go through this turmoil of a realization. However I am also convinced that there are many more like me out there, struggling to get a grasp on their reality.
So what happens to the likes of us? Do we meander aimlessly through life devoid of a passion or calling? For the sake of my sanity I surely hope not. I like to believe that in my shortcomings lays my victory. All of us are not cut out the same and some of us may have a more profound calling. This may be rooted in the struggle to have a more content family life; it may be a personal struggle to overcome your own limitations or like me, it may be a struggle caused by the overwhelming number of opportunities presented to an individual in this day and age.
Back in the day things were much simpler. The world as we knew it had a few things to offer & not too many things to delve into it. However now, every function has a sub function, every department has innumerous specializations. Gone are the days when writers were just writers. Now there are long form/short form writers, bloggers, copywriters, social media specialists, content producers, curators and the list just goes on. So how does one chose? How does one decide that they are a curator and not a social media specialist?

Well, the key as per me is in the non-selection. Choosing between being a curator and a social media specialist is hardly a choice at all, so rather be a person of multiple traits. It takes as much amount of intellect and strength to be able to master multiple skills as it does to single heartedly master one. At least for me knowing that my mind has the capacity to excel & accept various schools of thought provides to me a great deal of strength.
So my advice to all the lost souls out there would be, don’t lose hope! As the quote above mentions, desire everything you can and much more. Its only when you stop desiring that you truly are lost.

Monogamy

Let’s start with the question what is monogamy?

Follow it up with another: Why is it so important to us?

Gibbons, a type of apes; Swans and some other animals mate with the same partner for years and sometimes even a lifetime.  So is monogamy something we imbibed from our animal friends in the path to evolution? Or is it a quality that is innately human but only distorted now because of globalization, westernization and the likes?

I’ve found myself pondering way too often on this concept of “monogamy”; wondering whether it’s my own fundamental emotion to want that in a relationship or is it something that society has wired into me?

At this juncture I’d like to infer an instance from the movie “Ship of theseus” wherein one of the characters, Charvaka quotes the following to Maitreya:

“How do you know where you end and where your environment begins?”

This wonderment originates from Charvaka trying to understand how can we differentiate our inherent being from the being that has been created due to societal and cultural influences. He wonders if we would ever be able to differentiate that distinct point where we stopped being ourselves and transformed into something that is imbibed from our surroundings.

My situation is very similar to that, as I try to decide my stance on this highly ingrained-in-my-roots concept of monogamy.

A perpetual intermediary conclusion is that monogamy should be left as a choice. If 2 people feel the need to swear their love for eternity to each other, so be it; if two people don’t feel a similar need then so be that as well.

This is not to take a diplomatic stand on an otherwise controversial topic in this world, but to face reality. Monogamy is a very dire concept introduced by the so called leaders of our society. It’s not fighting the cause of love but the cause of constraining pandemics: STDs, abandoned childhoods and much more. Monogamy is not so much an individual choice anymore as it is a necessity.

Somewhere in the course of evolution the human conscience became larger than the human itself.  We outgrew our basic instincts and flooded our minds with insecurity, jealousy, envy and the sheer need to own and control another human.

Imagine a world wherein monogamy didn’t exist? I could only fret at the thought of that. So now I feel a bit misguided, I feel I’ve spent all my life believing in something that wasn’t true. I believed monogamy was a testament of true love & belonging, whereas it turns out it’s anything but that! Monogamy is a political concept, yes that’s my conclusion. It’s been strategically introduced in our world to support our weaknesses. It’s the direct result of human attachment, insecurity & our ever growing conscience. However if you aren’t monogamous then you are wayward, is it? What happens when you choose to shun societal know hows and go the wayward path? Do you really have a chance at a “happy” life? Or will your own insecurities eat at you in ways that you possibly cannot fathom?

I guess I would truly have an answer if and when I manage to escape my own humanism and have the courage to devolve my conscience, if that’s even possible.