Have we evolved past love?

Love, the eternal promise of togetherness. Or should I say, Love was the eternal promise of togetherness. I’ve always dreamt of the kind of love that would last beyond me and him. When I cease to exist our love would continue to live on through our memories and our children and our sweet shared innocence. But that reverie grows increasingly elusive day after day.

I have been dating roughly since the age of 13, and now after more than 10 years of in-numerous relationships I fret to say that I may have experienced all forms of love. I started from believing there was just one form of love, to understanding that the closest I will get to having a soul mate is my best friend and finally onto accepting that the universe always seems to have a plan of its own. So being a hopeless romantic, I loved tirelessly from one boy to another almost forming an unbreakable string, which I could only liken to a butterfly going from one flower to another in the search of sweet nectar. But each relationship turned out to be a different form of love and a different form of disappointment. All of them started with the promise of free spirited love and culminated into a desire, driven by deep seated insecurities, of owning the person.

Why can’t love be a choice? Of choosing one another each day, or not. It’s the alternative of “or not” that seems to scare most people resulting in a need to posses the other person. But where is love in all this? Shouldn’t love emerge from a strong admiration, an immense respect, a complete awe of that individual’s personality? And if you feel all of those things then why would you want to limit that person by projecting your own insecurities onto them?

Well this is only one part of the problem, the second part of the problem is the options! With travel and communication not being a barrier we are faced with the problem of an excessive number of options. Picture yourself in a supermarket buying a jar of jam. Imagine there are 100 different types of jams to choose from, what do you do? Most often than not you would get overwhelmed and decide to think about it and make the choice later or make a choice clouded by unsurety.

This is the situation for love in today’s world. We have so many options to choose from and so many ways to reach those options that how do we really choose? And hence comes the dreaded question, have we evolved past love?  I ask myself this question a lot and I feel this almost panic grapple my soul. What if we have evolved past love? What if I have evolved past love?

Rationalising everything does not leave much room for romance and knowing the exact motive behind a lover’s actions takes away his prerogative of controlling a situation. But that is a direct result of having experienced way too much, too soon coupled with the curse of being perceptive, of letting your emotional intelligence grow. But how can I stop this? How can any of us unknow what we already know? All those experiences, all those different types of love, can we ever really forget them?

Well, for my sanity I’m still hoping for the eternal sunshine of my very spotted mind.

Dwell further on this topic by reading a debate on the existence and necessity of Monogamy. Do we need be paired in happy couples of two?

Image courtesy: http://bit.ly/1Gsx6u6

Passion and Your True Calling

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” – Franz Kafka

Growing up, we are passionate about more things than we can probably count on our fingers. But what happens when that childlike belief of conquering the world wears off and we realize the true enormity of the world we live in?
Each one of us has that distinct moment wherein, for the very first time, we are faced with a true existential crisis. The moment we realize being a cosmetic surgeon or the CEO of an MNC is much more than just talking the talk. The worst is when you realize that you have spent too much time “day dreaming” and not enough trying to actively achieve that day dream. This is when your day dream turns into a full-fledged daymare and you’re launched into a tizzy of thoughts that are so alien to your prior happy being that you’re convinced of your insanity.
Being a 20 something I have gone through all of the above and worse. I know that there is a large percentage of people out there who have it all figured out and probably never have to go through this turmoil of a realization. However I am also convinced that there are many more like me out there, struggling to get a grasp on their reality.
So what happens to the likes of us? Do we meander aimlessly through life devoid of a passion or calling? For the sake of my sanity I surely hope not. I like to believe that in my shortcomings lays my victory. All of us are not cut out the same and some of us may have a more profound calling. This may be rooted in the struggle to have a more content family life; it may be a personal struggle to overcome your own limitations or like me, it may be a struggle caused by the overwhelming number of opportunities presented to an individual in this day and age.
Back in the day things were much simpler. The world as we knew it had a few things to offer & not too many things to delve into it. However now, every function has a sub function, every department has innumerous specializations. Gone are the days when writers were just writers. Now there are long form/short form writers, bloggers, copywriters, social media specialists, content producers, curators and the list just goes on. So how does one chose? How does one decide that they are a curator and not a social media specialist?

Well, the key as per me is in the non-selection. Choosing between being a curator and a social media specialist is hardly a choice at all, so rather be a person of multiple traits. It takes as much amount of intellect and strength to be able to master multiple skills as it does to single heartedly master one. At least for me knowing that my mind has the capacity to excel & accept various schools of thought provides to me a great deal of strength.
So my advice to all the lost souls out there would be, don’t lose hope! As the quote above mentions, desire everything you can and much more. Its only when you stop desiring that you truly are lost.