Let’s start with the question what is monogamy?
Follow it up with another: Why is it so important to us?
Gibbons, a type of apes; Swans and some other animals mate with the same partner for years and sometimes even a lifetime. So is monogamy something we imbibed from our animal friends in the path to evolution? Or is it a quality that is innately human but only distorted now because of globalization, westernization and the likes?
I’ve found myself pondering way too often on this concept of “monogamy”; wondering whether it’s my own fundamental emotion to want that in a relationship or is it something that society has wired into me?
At this juncture I’d like to infer an instance from the movie “Ship of theseus” wherein one of the characters, Charvaka quotes the following to Maitreya:
“How do you know where you end and where your environment begins?”
This wonderment originates from Charvaka trying to understand how can we differentiate our inherent being from the being that has been created due to societal and cultural influences. He wonders if we would ever be able to differentiate that distinct point where we stopped being ourselves and transformed into something that is imbibed from our surroundings.
My situation is very similar to that, as I try to decide my stance on this highly ingrained-in-my-roots concept of monogamy.
A perpetual intermediary conclusion is that monogamy should be left as a choice. If 2 people feel the need to swear their love for eternity to each other, so be it; if two people don’t feel a similar need then so be that as well.
This is not to take a diplomatic stand on an otherwise controversial topic in this world, but to face reality. Monogamy is a very dire concept introduced by the so called leaders of our society. It’s not fighting the cause of love but the cause of constraining pandemics: STDs, abandoned childhoods and much more. Monogamy is not so much an individual choice anymore as it is a necessity.
Somewhere in the course of evolution the human conscience became larger than the human itself. We outgrew our basic instincts and flooded our minds with insecurity, jealousy, envy and the sheer need to own and control another human.
Imagine a world wherein monogamy didn’t exist? I could only fret at the thought of that. So now I feel a bit misguided, I feel I’ve spent all my life believing in something that wasn’t true. I believed monogamy was a testament of true love & belonging, whereas it turns out it’s anything but that! Monogamy is a political concept, yes that’s my conclusion. It’s been strategically introduced in our world to support our weaknesses. It’s the direct result of human attachment, insecurity & our ever growing conscience. However if you aren’t monogamous then you are wayward, is it? What happens when you choose to shun societal know hows and go the wayward path? Do you really have a chance at a “happy” life? Or will your own insecurities eat at you in ways that you possibly cannot fathom?
I guess I would truly have an answer if and when I manage to escape my own humanism and have the courage to devolve my conscience, if that’s even possible.