Late Night Love Letters -Shades

She: Every one of my friends you meet, you will see a different shade of me. A different person, born with their arrival. That’s the range of my personality and it scares me. It scares me that I’m too fragmented for your love.

He: What you and I share, goes deeper than these superficial fragments. Your soul, your emotions, they remain constant across all your personalities. That’s the only thing that concerns me and that’s what I’m in love with.

A love story

I saw him, I loved him.

We shared our beds and the hopes and dreams that transpired.

Then I left. I had to.

I thought of him ever so often, a heart ache that was all too familiar.

We spoke. But we were not the same.

Seemed like it had been a lifetime since our time together, and maybe it was another life. A happier life.

And now I’m back. But where is he?

He is with her. Is he happy?

It breaks my heart to realize what I wanted with him, he has with her.

What I introduced in his life, he is experiencing with her.

How cruel can heartbreak be? How oblivious can the heartbreaker be?

Now, every morning between being asleep and partially awake, during each of my reveries, I think of him. But more often I think of her.

Did she steal what was mine?

I hope to regain what I have lost, a part of me, some way and some day.

Or maybe this is the only love story I will ever write; it began when our eyes locked, ended when we blinked.

The Hopeless Achiever

“Try and try until you succeed”

This age old proverb drives the young blooded to the old blooded and everyone in between. However its not the idealism expressed by the proverb that drives most people, its the success. So how would you define success? Success is defined as the achievement of an aim or an objective. But are not our aims and objectives so fleeting?

Most people that we might come across are in a perpetual beta mode, changing their hopes and dreams to suit the best of their ability. Their ability, which has been decreasing with every passing year as they get evermore complacent and driven by convenience. So if the goals that drive our success are dictated by convenience then how are we “trying till we succeed?” Well, we are not. What we are doing however is trying not to try too hard.

The phenomena of “trying too hard” is recent but colloquially a lot more popular than it’s idealistic predecessor. Most people are trying not to try too hard or at least appear as such. In today’s world, there is a stigma attached with being an overachiever and the stigma stems from the fear of failure and success of those that rely on chance and some good fortune.

But such people have it easy, I’d assume. Would it not be great to be so aware of your limits that you cause no harm to your inherent self by trying to overachieve? When your ego remains unscathed by the momentary but ever so crippling feeling of rejection.

The idealists however, for them a world where the ego takes precedence over aspiration is rather glim and leaves much to be desired.

However with this attitude, the Idealists can wind up with a string of regrets. Resulting from no faults of their own but as a function of external factors playing mayhem in their aspirations. External factors, they elude me the most. They are not mine to control and not mine to dictate. They have a mind of their own and this mind till date remains to be one that I cannot read.

I would assume, a life where you don’t try to achieve at all would be a lot easier to live with as opposed to a life where you reach for the stars only to realise that you perpetually have a broken hand. How long till my broken hand becomes the extent of my ability? How long till my hopes and dreams become as fleeting as the next biggest internet phenomena?

I feel my resolute to be strong but slightly shaken, tipping over an inch at a time to the want of “not trying too hard”

And if not, then I remain for the rest of my life, a hopeless achiever.

Image courtesy : http://bit.ly/1DWQftX

Passion and Your True Calling

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” – Franz Kafka

Growing up, we are passionate about more things than we can probably count on our fingers. But what happens when that childlike belief of conquering the world wears off and we realize the true enormity of the world we live in?
Each one of us has that distinct moment wherein, for the very first time, we are faced with a true existential crisis. The moment we realize being a cosmetic surgeon or the CEO of an MNC is much more than just talking the talk. The worst is when you realize that you have spent too much time “day dreaming” and not enough trying to actively achieve that day dream. This is when your day dream turns into a full-fledged daymare and you’re launched into a tizzy of thoughts that are so alien to your prior happy being that you’re convinced of your insanity.
Being a 20 something I have gone through all of the above and worse. I know that there is a large percentage of people out there who have it all figured out and probably never have to go through this turmoil of a realization. However I am also convinced that there are many more like me out there, struggling to get a grasp on their reality.
So what happens to the likes of us? Do we meander aimlessly through life devoid of a passion or calling? For the sake of my sanity I surely hope not. I like to believe that in my shortcomings lays my victory. All of us are not cut out the same and some of us may have a more profound calling. This may be rooted in the struggle to have a more content family life; it may be a personal struggle to overcome your own limitations or like me, it may be a struggle caused by the overwhelming number of opportunities presented to an individual in this day and age.
Back in the day things were much simpler. The world as we knew it had a few things to offer & not too many things to delve into it. However now, every function has a sub function, every department has innumerous specializations. Gone are the days when writers were just writers. Now there are long form/short form writers, bloggers, copywriters, social media specialists, content producers, curators and the list just goes on. So how does one chose? How does one decide that they are a curator and not a social media specialist?

Well, the key as per me is in the non-selection. Choosing between being a curator and a social media specialist is hardly a choice at all, so rather be a person of multiple traits. It takes as much amount of intellect and strength to be able to master multiple skills as it does to single heartedly master one. At least for me knowing that my mind has the capacity to excel & accept various schools of thought provides to me a great deal of strength.
So my advice to all the lost souls out there would be, don’t lose hope! As the quote above mentions, desire everything you can and much more. Its only when you stop desiring that you truly are lost.