Late Night Love Letters -Shades

She: Every one of my friends you meet, you will see a different shade of me. A different person, born with their arrival. That’s the range of my personality and it scares me. It scares me that I’m too fragmented for your love.

He: What you and I share, goes deeper than these superficial fragments. Your soul, your emotions, they remain constant across all your personalities. That’s the only thing that concerns me and that’s what I’m in love with.

The Myth of the Missing Half

With Valentines day approaching, here is a short illustration of Plato’s symposium, which is a philosophical text dated back to 385–370 BC. In this dramatic dialogue Plato explores the various facets that constitute love and it is from this symposium that we see the term “platonic” emerge. If you have ever used platonic to describe your relationship with someone, you need to thank Plato’s deeply evaluative thinking.

The below video gives us a quick recap of where the idea of a “second half” comes from and what makes us yearn them so much. Enjoy!

Video by- BBC Radio

Now if this theory has any truth to it or not and what happens to the hopeless souls that don’t find their supposed “better half” well that’s a matter of contemplation and one the journal of mokita hopes to tackle soon.

Until then, if finding your second half isn’t on your to-do list, read a piece on the state of love today that explores a morose yet very real question – Have we evolved past love?

Dwell further on this topic by reading a debate on the existence and necessity of Monogamy. Do we need be paired in happy couples of two? 

 

A love story

I saw him, I loved him.

We shared our beds and the hopes and dreams that transpired.

Then I left. I had to.

I thought of him ever so often, a heart ache that was all too familiar.

We spoke. But we were not the same.

Seemed like it had been a lifetime since our time together, and maybe it was another life. A happier life.

And now I’m back. But where is he?

He is with her. Is he happy?

It breaks my heart to realize what I wanted with him, he has with her.

What I introduced in his life, he is experiencing with her.

How cruel can heartbreak be? How oblivious can the heartbreaker be?

Now, every morning between being asleep and partially awake, during each of my reveries, I think of him. But more often I think of her.

Did she steal what was mine?

I hope to regain what I have lost, a part of me, some way and some day.

Or maybe this is the only love story I will ever write; it began when our eyes locked, ended when we blinked.

Have we evolved past love?

Love, the eternal promise of togetherness. Or should I say, Love was the eternal promise of togetherness. I’ve always dreamt of the kind of love that would last beyond me and him. When I cease to exist our love would continue to live on through our memories and our children and our sweet shared innocence. But that reverie grows increasingly elusive day after day.

I have been dating roughly since the age of 13, and now after more than 10 years of in-numerous relationships I fret to say that I may have experienced all forms of love. I started from believing there was just one form of love, to understanding that the closest I will get to having a soul mate is my best friend and finally onto accepting that the universe always seems to have a plan of its own. So being a hopeless romantic, I loved tirelessly from one boy to another almost forming an unbreakable string, which I could only liken to a butterfly going from one flower to another in the search of sweet nectar. But each relationship turned out to be a different form of love and a different form of disappointment. All of them started with the promise of free spirited love and culminated into a desire, driven by deep seated insecurities, of owning the person.

Why can’t love be a choice? Of choosing one another each day, or not. It’s the alternative of “or not” that seems to scare most people resulting in a need to posses the other person. But where is love in all this? Shouldn’t love emerge from a strong admiration, an immense respect, a complete awe of that individual’s personality? And if you feel all of those things then why would you want to limit that person by projecting your own insecurities onto them?

Well this is only one part of the problem, the second part of the problem is the options! With travel and communication not being a barrier we are faced with the problem of an excessive number of options. Picture yourself in a supermarket buying a jar of jam. Imagine there are 100 different types of jams to choose from, what do you do? Most often than not you would get overwhelmed and decide to think about it and make the choice later or make a choice clouded by unsurety.

This is the situation for love in today’s world. We have so many options to choose from and so many ways to reach those options that how do we really choose? And hence comes the dreaded question, have we evolved past love?  I ask myself this question a lot and I feel this almost panic grapple my soul. What if we have evolved past love? What if I have evolved past love?

Rationalising everything does not leave much room for romance and knowing the exact motive behind a lover’s actions takes away his prerogative of controlling a situation. But that is a direct result of having experienced way too much, too soon coupled with the curse of being perceptive, of letting your emotional intelligence grow. But how can I stop this? How can any of us unknow what we already know? All those experiences, all those different types of love, can we ever really forget them?

Well, for my sanity I’m still hoping for the eternal sunshine of my very spotted mind.

Dwell further on this topic by reading a debate on the existence and necessity of Monogamy. Do we need be paired in happy couples of two?

Image courtesy: http://bit.ly/1Gsx6u6

Monogamy

Let’s start with the question what is monogamy?

Follow it up with another: Why is it so important to us?

Gibbons, a type of apes; Swans and some other animals mate with the same partner for years and sometimes even a lifetime.  So is monogamy something we imbibed from our animal friends in the path to evolution? Or is it a quality that is innately human but only distorted now because of globalization, westernization and the likes?

I’ve found myself pondering way too often on this concept of “monogamy”; wondering whether it’s my own fundamental emotion to want that in a relationship or is it something that society has wired into me?

At this juncture I’d like to infer an instance from the movie “Ship of theseus” wherein one of the characters, Charvaka quotes the following to Maitreya:

“How do you know where you end and where your environment begins?”

This wonderment originates from Charvaka trying to understand how can we differentiate our inherent being from the being that has been created due to societal and cultural influences. He wonders if we would ever be able to differentiate that distinct point where we stopped being ourselves and transformed into something that is imbibed from our surroundings.

My situation is very similar to that, as I try to decide my stance on this highly ingrained-in-my-roots concept of monogamy.

A perpetual intermediary conclusion is that monogamy should be left as a choice. If 2 people feel the need to swear their love for eternity to each other, so be it; if two people don’t feel a similar need then so be that as well.

This is not to take a diplomatic stand on an otherwise controversial topic in this world, but to face reality. Monogamy is a very dire concept introduced by the so called leaders of our society. It’s not fighting the cause of love but the cause of constraining pandemics: STDs, abandoned childhoods and much more. Monogamy is not so much an individual choice anymore as it is a necessity.

Somewhere in the course of evolution the human conscience became larger than the human itself.  We outgrew our basic instincts and flooded our minds with insecurity, jealousy, envy and the sheer need to own and control another human.

Imagine a world wherein monogamy didn’t exist? I could only fret at the thought of that. So now I feel a bit misguided, I feel I’ve spent all my life believing in something that wasn’t true. I believed monogamy was a testament of true love & belonging, whereas it turns out it’s anything but that! Monogamy is a political concept, yes that’s my conclusion. It’s been strategically introduced in our world to support our weaknesses. It’s the direct result of human attachment, insecurity & our ever growing conscience. However if you aren’t monogamous then you are wayward, is it? What happens when you choose to shun societal know hows and go the wayward path? Do you really have a chance at a “happy” life? Or will your own insecurities eat at you in ways that you possibly cannot fathom?

I guess I would truly have an answer if and when I manage to escape my own humanism and have the courage to devolve my conscience, if that’s even possible.